What is scaffolding and why is it so important 

Hi everyone, it’s Roslyn, your codependency recovery coach and relationship specialist. Today, I want to talk about scaffolding. I often discuss scaffolding because it plays a crucial role in our journey. When we build a big building, we surround it with scaffolding to prevent accidents. Similarly, we need scaffolding for the times on our journey when we slip or fall.

Now, let’s delve into why we need safe scaffolding—people we can trust. Brené Brown has a fantastic formula called “braving,” detailed on page 129 of my book. Consider these qualities when selecting the individuals you want in your scaffolding.

 

1. 1. Reliability: Your scaffolding should be people who won’t divulge their problems when you reach out to them. They are reliable and present for you.

1. 1. Accountability: Choose individuals who will hold you accountable. This is essential for personal growth.

1. 1. Confidentiality: Your scaffolding must act as a vault, keeping your shared thoughts and feelings confidential. Respect their privacy in the same way.

1. 1. Integrity: Opt for people who choose courage over comfort. When sharing at a deep level, courage is key.

1. 1. Non-Judgment: Ensure there is no judgment. Create a space where you can be open without fear of criticism.

1. 1. Generosity: Be generous with your time. Share your time with others, knowing that they might need it in return someday.

Remember, the people in your scaffolding can change as you evolve. It’s crucial to adapt to the level of scaffolding you need and the honesty you require. Not everyone may be suitable for every situation. Learn to be a reliable scaffold for others, devoid of personal anecdotes or judgments.

It’s beneficial to have two to three people in your scaffolding, knowing that they can change over time. Write down their names on a piece of paper so that, even in challenging moments, you can quickly identify the best person for the situation.

Scaffolding is vital for navigating the journey of recovery, and it’s not a solo endeavor. Reach out to others, be open, and remember that you are not alone on this path. If you’d like to discuss where you’re at, feel free to message me for a 20-minute chat. Thanks for listening, and see you next time!