Hi everyone, welcome back. I am Roslyn Saunders, Co-dependency and Addiction Coach Specialist.
Today’s topic is one that has saved me many, many times over many, many years. Years ago, I did a lot of study and I still do study in a Psychotherapy course called “A Course in Miracles,” and it’s from a thought system based on fear to a thought system based on love. So, the one lesson I’d like to discuss with you today that has saved me many, many times, I can promise you, is “In my defencelessness, my safety lies.” Now, what this means is often when we’re attacked or someone will say something we don’t agree with or someone will be maybe abusive to us, the best response is no response. And we can get our emotions regulated. Now, what
I mean by this is that we want to attack back. “Well, I thought this,” or you know, we want to attack back. So, the best thing for this, and as I say, it’s not comfortable and you may need to get support around it, I always have if something’s really, really riling up in me, so that I don’t go back to that person and then it gets to attack and they attack us back, and then it goes right off track from the original situation. So, what I do is I get support in, I share what’s going on because my emotions are dysregulated, they’re up here, I want to like purge out on that person because I’ve been triggered. I get support and then I talk it through, sit in the discomfort, and at least wait 24 hours.
Put a timer on your clock, put it on your phone for 24 hours, sit with it. That allows your autonomic nervous system to settle down, see it from a different perspective, it allows you to work through your triggers that may not even be in relationship to this event but it’s brought up other stuff, and then approach it from a more balanced way.
Or you know what, for me often, I still, once that time’s over, that discomfort, I don’t even want to approach it, it’s settled down in me, and then I’m grateful for what it’s done.
It’s brought up the triggers and I’ve responded to those triggers, my triggers, in a better way so as not to, I’m sure we all know, someone will say something, it attacks us or it triggers us, then we say something back, and it goes on and on and on. So just to wrap up, “In my defenselessness, my safety lies.” Do not defend yourself, at least for 24 hours when you’ve got some more perspective on it, when you maybe have reached out to someone for their perception, someone you trust and someone that understands this work, reach out for their perception to help shift your perception, and then do it in a much more healthier, more conscious, more self-caring way. Hope that helps today, Thank you.
