Hello, everyone. It’s Roslyn, your recovery coaching counselor. Today’s topic is about “When I Give, I Am the First Recipient.” Now, what I mean by that is, if we’re not giving where we’re not getting the gift first, then we’re trading, and we’re wanting something back. I will not compromise I will tell you why. So, when I do something for someone or when I’m giving to someone, I get the gift of giving that gift. I think very often, especially as codependents, we give, and I used to do this as well, with the intention of getting their approval or to have a sense of belonging, so that people would like me.
Now, when I give, I take so much pleasure in doing that act of giving. I’m not referring to a physical gift in a box; I’m talking about the gift of time, the gift of thought, the gift of caring. But when I check in, I realize that when I’m giving to people, I am the first receiver. I’m the one who gets the gift even more so than the other person. Therefore, we’re not looking for something in return. So, if we’re not giving the gift from a willing and open heart, and when we don’t get the gift of doing that thing for someone, we get it first, then we’re just trading, and we’re not truly giving at all.
I hope that helps, a quick little tip for today. You can visit my website, rosalynsaunders.com, where you’ll find a ton of resources. Also, what I want to emphasize is that these new behaviors become a part of a new normal way of living. So, whenever I give or do something for somebody, I never feel resentful because I’m doing it, and I’ve come to find more pleasure in the act of doing it for them. These behaviors, which is what I work on within my coaching, become the new normal way of thinking and the new normal way of living.
So, we’re not left feeling abandoned, and we’re not feeling resentful and bitter because that makes us stuck. Until next time, thank you.
