Hi Everyone, welcome back. I am Roslyn Saunders, Co-dependency and Addiction Coach Specialist.
Today’s topic is “I need to be needed to feel good about myself.” In the past, my life revolved around needing others to need me. This stemmed from discomfort with myself and lack of self-esteem. We crave being needed because it fills us up, but not in an authentic way.
Check in with yourself and see where you need to be needed. Start to sit with the withdrawal of that. If you don’t keep doing things for people, or if you don’t feel needed, you might go into withdrawal. “Oh my god, they don’t need me! What can I do? I’ll send them flowers!” We do this to get relief from our own addiction of needing to be needed. We’ll text them, check in, or even make up a lie or excuse to call them.
If any of this resonates, please check in with yourself. I offer a 20-minute Discovery call with no pressure. You don’t have to commit to coaching, but I know you’ll get benefit out of it.
I also have a 12-part video series on recovering from codependency. It’s good, solid stuff to help you identify the issue in yourself. There’s no shame in this; it’s about awareness and taking responsibility. Once we have a new level of awareness, I’m sure most of us would look back at some of our behaviours and want to hide under the bed. I know I do.
Well, actually, I don’t now because if I had known better, I would have done better. That’s why I want to bring this codependency issue to light. It’s running our lives. What we have to do is identify it, get support where needed, and make changes in baby steps – brick by brick by brick – so it’s sustainable.
I know you can do it because I’ve done it. And if anyone can do it, I can do it. If I can do it, anybody can do it. I was fully blown codependent to the point where I was hospitalised and begging to die. Don’t let that be you. Thank you.
