Hi Everyone, welcome back. I am Roslyn Saunders, Codependency and Addiction Coach Specialist.
Do you tell yourself stories? I want to talk to you today about the stories we tell ourselves when we’re living in codependency.
What do I mean by that? One thing codependents are very good at is telling stories. We cling to our stories so much that they become our identity, our own truth. Most of this is unconscious and, as such, is very powerful. With these stories and beliefs, the body and our lives start to reflect what we’ve been telling ourselves.
One example of this is being addicted to the attention we receive for sickness or being a victim of particular circumstances that have become our identity.
So, how do we move beyond our story? The first step is to get honest. You can do that by asking some simple questions: What’s my story? What have I been telling myself and others habitually? Is this story true?
As codependents, we tend to make all-or-nothing statements, such as “My whole life’s a mess” or “I had a terrible day.” Another way to ask the question might be, “Did you have a bad day, or did you just have a bad half-hour and milk it for the whole day or week?” Have you conveniently omitted elements of your story?
Some people hang on to the story that their childhood was terrible. Now, there may have been aspects that were, however, perhaps they are choosing to ignore the aspects that were okay too. We create stories as an identity because we have not developed an authentic self.
So, how do we get beyond our story? We do it by having a willingness to get honest, just this much. We also begin to notice the thoughts, beliefs, and words that come out of our mouths. The level of honesty with which you answer these questions is an indicator of how hungry you are to experience a healthier and emotionally more sober life. This is about growing up and cleaning up.
Be aware that as you do this work, it can be very uncomfortable. As we become honest about our story and let it go, we will experience withdrawal, the same as if we were withdrawing from a drug.
If you’d like support to get honest and overcome your story, you can reach out to me.
