Today, I’d like to talk about detachment again. I know I did a video on this the other day – the emotional, the mental, and the physical detachment. What I’d like to bring attention to today is the attachment we have to the dream. Very, very often, I know with myself, as in the ending of my marriage, what was the hardest to let go of was the loss of my dream. It wasn’t how the story was supposed to end. I didn’t get married to get unmarried, or I didn’t want to have a broken family. All of these things that we set up and write in our script, and then all of a sudden, the script isn’t going the way we planned it. My white picket fence came falling down.
So today, I’d like you to just open up to the possibility and be mindful that, yes, we’re detaching and letting go from the physical things like the person, place, or thing, or the job or the business that we had that failed. That wasn’t how it was going to be. Nobody, I don’t think, I’ve heard of anybody that goes into business, marriage, any sort of venture where they haven’t got great dreams. That’s what pulls us into them and does them, and that’s a great thing. So when it doesn’t turn out how we’ve written the script, it’s a huge loss, and we then have to go back and rewrite the script.
So again, being very mindful to get some support around that with rewriting your script, not just rushing into the next quick thing. Because when our script comes falling down and when our dreams come falling down, with the uncertainty, the fear, the panic that we go into, we just… the panic that we go into, paralysis, we can’t function, which has been the case for me on quite a number of occasions. And it’s like it breaks you down for then you to rebuild.
But what we can do, and I did a lot also, was cross-addicted. I quickly would fill it in with something else because these uncomfortable feelings would be too much to bear. I didn’t, those years ago, get someone to help me work out these uncomfortable feelings, to slow me down and go, “Okay, so, you know, like, what to pull apart and what’s the benefit of this, and where can we take this, and how long can you last before you rush into something?” Because often, we rush into the next thing, and then, like, another relationship that we cross-addict to or another job or another business, it doesn’t last after 6 months, you know, crumbles, or we don’t feel good because we haven’t cleaned up the other stuff.
So, and then on top of that, we’ve got that thing that’s crashed, we’ve got the next thing that’s crashed. And what I see a lot of people doing, and I’ve certainly done it, don’t worry, and we can all be open to doing this, we keep crashing and burning, crashing and burning, and crashing and burning. For me, the big thing was slow down, sit with that uncomfortableness, get someone to help you through it. Because we can also waste an awful lot and spend an awful lot of money chasing that dream in different forms when it may not be right for us.
So I hope that helps today. Thank you. Please visit my website roslynsaunders.com.au if you need help or coaching for codependency or addiction.
