Roslyn: Hi everyone, it’s Roslyn, the recovery coach here. Today’s topic is about denial. Codependency denial patterns. The acronym for denial is “Don’t Even Know I Am Lying.” Now, what happens when we come to this stage of recovery is that we’re confronted with the conditioning and patterns that have been formed from our younger lives. Sometimes, we’re living in a paradigm that we’re familiar with, and even if it’s uncomfortable, we stick to what we know. We might feel uncomfortable with the unknown because stepping outside of our comfort zone can be scary.
Denial, some have said, is our second strongest emotion. What happens is we construct these walls of denial as a way to feel safe. It keeps us in the known, rather than having the courage to venture into the unknown. So, if that makes sense, denial is very powerful and it keeps us in a kind of mental prison. I remember Bob Proctor saying that he felt more sorry for people outside who don’t even realize they’re trapped in a mental prison. They hold the key to get out, yet they can’t unlock it.
So, be very mindful. What I suggest is to work through your layers of denial with someone. As we progress in recovery, we peel off more and more layers of these patterns. Remember, about 95% of our patterns and behaviors are stored in our subconscious. We’re in the process of reversing that. So, find someone to work with, someone you feel safe with, and someone you trust. As you peel off these layers of denial, the fog starts to clear. We gain awareness, and our denial gradually breaks down.
Things that we were convinced were true, things that were protected by our strong wall of denial, start to crumble. The ego’s role is to keep us safe and secure in our known patterns, preventing us from breaking free. This is why we find ourselves going in circles, repeating the same cycles, and making the same mistakes over and over. But as we break down these walls of denial, we gain insights into our conditioned behaviors. The ego loses its grip on us, and we start to break free from these patterns.
So, I hope that explanation helps. If you need more clarity on anything from my discussions or information, feel free to reach out to me for a 20-minute chat. I offer a free 20-minute Discovery call on my website, roslynsaunders.com.au. I have a wealth of information available. To recap, denial keeps us firmly planted in our emotions, making it difficult for us to see beyond the walls we’ve built around ourselves.
Thanks for listening, and I’ll catch you next time.
