Hi I am Roslyn Saunders, Codependency Coach and Addiction Coach.
Are you wondering how to stop being a people pleaser?
Do you find yourself constantly putting others’ needs before your own? Do you struggle to say “no” for fear of disappointing people? If so, you might be caught in the exhausting cycle of people-pleasing. But the good news is, there’s a way out. In this article, we’ll explore practical steps you can take to break free from this pattern and reclaim your life.
Understanding People-Pleasing
People-pleasing often stems from a deep-seated need for approval and validation from others. While it may seem like a harmless trait, it can have detrimental effects on your well-being, leading to resentment, anxiety, and even burnout.
Steps to Stop People-Pleasing
Recognise the Pattern: The first step towards change is awareness. Start noticing the situations where you tend to people-please. What are the triggers? How does it make you feel?
Set Boundaries: Learn to say “no” to requests that drain your energy or compromise your values. It’s okay to prioritise your own needs. Remember, saying “no” to something you don’t have the time or energy for is saying “yes” to yourself.
Practice Self-Care: Prioritise activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul. This could include anything from exercise and healthy eating to spending time in nature or pursuing hobbies you enjoy.
Challenge Negative Thoughts: People-pleasers often have negative self-talk. Challenge these thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations. Remember, your worth is not determined by what others think of you.
Seek Support: If you’re struggling to break free from people-pleasing on your own, consider seeking professional help. A therapist or coach can provide guidance and support as you navigate this journey.
Additional Tips
- Start small: Begin by setting boundaries in less challenging situations and gradually work your way up to more difficult ones.
- Be assertive: Communicate your needs and wants clearly and respectfully.
- Don’t apologise for saying “no”: It’s your right to decline requests that don’t serve you.
- Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself throughout this process. Change takes time and effort.
Conclusion
Breaking free from people-pleasing is a journey, not a destination. It requires courage, self-awareness, and a commitment to prioritising your own well-being. But the rewards are well worth the effort. By taking these steps, you can reclaim your life and create healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
Take the Next Step
Ready to delve deeper into your journey of self-discovery and break free from codependency? Take my free codependency quiz and schedule a free discovery call to discuss your results. Let’s work together to empower you on your path to recovery.
Roslyn Saunders Codependency Coach and Addiction Specialist
