Hi I am Roslyn Saunders, Codependency Coach.
From my own personal journey of grappling with addiction within my family, and now as a codependency recovery coach, I’ve witnessed firsthand the intricate dance of codependency. It’s a pattern of relating where one person enables another’s unhealthy behaviours, often at their own expense. If you suspect you’re dealing with a codependent partner, know that you’re not alone and there is a path towards healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
Recognising the Signs
Codependency can manifest in various ways, making it tricky to identify. Here are some common signs to watch out for in your partner:
- Low self-esteem: They may rely on your approval for their sense of worth.
- People-pleasing: They prioritise others’ needs above their own, often to the point of self-neglect.
- Poor boundaries: They struggle to say “no” and may allow others to take advantage of them.
- Control issues: They may try to control your actions or emotions, often out of fear or anxiety.
- Difficulty with intimacy: They may struggle to express their true feelings or needs.
- Caretaking: They may feel overly responsible for your well-being, even to the point of enabling unhealthy behaviours.
Navigating the Challenges
Living with a codependent partner can be emotionally draining. You might feel:
- Suffocated: Their need for constant reassurance and attention can leave you feeling trapped.
- Resentful: Their inability to prioritise their own needs can lead to an unequal partnership.
- Guilty: You may feel responsible for their happiness or fear setting boundaries will cause them to crumble.
Taking Back Your Power
If this resonates with you, remember that you have the power to change the dynamic. Here are some strategies to help you deal with a codependent partner:
Focus on Yourself: Prioritise your own well-being. Engage in self-care activities, pursue your passions, and nurture your own identity.
Set Healthy Boundaries: Learn to say “no” and communicate your needs assertively. This might be uncomfortable initially, but it’s crucial for creating a balanced relationship.
Encourage Their Independence: Support your partner in developing their own interests and friendships. Encourage them to seek therapy or join a support group.
Detach with Love: Recognise that you are not responsible for your partner’s happiness. Offer support, but avoid enabling their unhealthy behaviours.
Seek Support: Consider individual or couples therapy to gain further insights and develop healthy communication patterns.
Remember, recovery is possible. With patience, compassion, and consistent effort, both you and your partner can learn to create a more balanced and fulfilling relationship.
If you’re ready to break free from the cycle of codependency, I’m here to help. Contact me today to learn more about my codependency coaching services.
Roslyn Saunders Codependency Coach and Addiction Specialist
