Dealing with disappointment

I had a person contact me this week; her name was Kay, actually. So, this is for you, Kay, as well, even though we’ve spoken on dealing with disappointment. Disappointment can be challenging and it comes to all of us. We can all feel disappointed at different stages, but there are a few strategies which I’ve taken notes here for just to help us. And you might like to take notes yourself or review this video if you get into a spot where you feel really, really disappointed.

Acknowledge your feelings. So, if you’re feeling disappointed, you say, “I feel disappointed,” without a story. Not because this just happened, I’m feeling different. Disappointed, that is an open-ended that allows the feelings to rise up and also to be released from us. We think it may be this specific event that’s made us disappointed, but we don’t really know what other feelings of disappointment over our life it’s bringing to the surface to be relieved. So, try and acknowledge your feelings. I’m feeling sad without a story. I’m feeling disappointed. I’m feeling angry, all of those things, but no story. Just sit with the feeling to allow them to rise. We all know we have to feel to heal, and we don’t know that just that situation could have been just the trigger to bring up a lot of other feelings, which is a great thing too. And we don’t need to know what they are. We don’t need to go digging. Oh, is it this? Is it this? It is what it is and I’m feeling, and no story except, accept the reality. Recognise that disappointment, as I said at the beginning, is a natural part of life and we all go through it. So, it’s reality. We’ll always face some disappointment, especially for people that are trying new things. And that’s part of the deal and that’s part of our overcoming these situations to become who we’re meant to be.

Identify. So, you can also look into, I know I said not to build on the story, but after you’ve identified your feelings, you can look into and identify the cause, where it may have come from, a failed expectation. Identify with clarity and insight and address it. We do that so that we don’t perhaps do the same thing and set ourselves up for more disappointment in the future. I did a video a while ago and it was about we can be addicted to disappointment. We’re always disappointed always. I think I was addicted to disappointment.

Practice self-compassion. Be very kind to yourself. Gentleness is a spiritual practice and give yourself the same kindness and understanding that you would if it was a dear friend. Seek support. Talk to a mentor, coach, a therapist, a person that understands this, not the people that are not in recovery, in the discovery to recovery. Don’t go to the wrong people. I used to do that all the time and it would make me feel more guilt and shame. And when you do feel, share your thoughts and emotions about the disappointment to unload it. Focus on what you can control. Direct your energy towards the things you can influence. Don’t stay stuck in the past with it. While you may not be able to alter that outcome that led to disappointment, you can change and mentally rehearse how you will prevent further disappointments. Find meaning and lessons. Look for the silver linings. Look for the gifts as an experience for growth and self-reflection. I love that one. Always look for the bless in the mess. There always is. At first, we might not think it, especially when we’re feeling all those raw emotions and triggered. But if we can do the things I’ve said above, get someone and also settle it down, identify the emotions, then go, what are the gifts in this situation? I’m telling you, there will be many. And then when we go to gratitude, gratitude is the ultimate state of receivership. We change our frequency and we lift, not only we lift the disappointment, but we start to draw in different things. And I’ll bet your bottom dollar that not in the not too distant future, you will look back and go, I’m glad that happened. I know that is for me.

Engage in self-care and your activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and fulfillment. So, you know, have a pattern interrupt and fill yourself up afterwards. Set new goals, redirect your focus, maintain perspective. Remember that disappointment is only temporary. It’s an event. It’s not a permanent life sentence. So bring it back into perspective and keep, and trust that better days lie ahead. I hope you found that helpful today. That’s all good ideas and strategies for when we’re triggered, when we’re disappointed, when we’re triggered in any way. So, hope that helps today, and thank you for watching.