Hi everyone, Roslyn recovery, codependency recovery, and relationship specialist. Today’s topic is about how, as we expand and grow in different areas, especially if you’re doing this work, the thing that happens is we become out of alignment with different things. We’re in alignment with our codependent self, and as we do this and expand ourselves, it can actually change our palette of friends and connections as well.
My point here is not to beat up on yourself, not to blame yourself, or not to stay with people that aren’t in alignment. Also, not to blame them or put them down. The bottom line is it’s just not an alignment anymore, and that’s actually what you want because you want to grow and change. But what a lot of people want to do is they want to grow and change, but they want to bring everybody with them. Not everybody’s doing this work, and the things that were in alignment, normal to you and comfortable to you, become uncomfortable as we grow.
So, we don’t need to blame other people or put them down. We’re not different than them, but all we are is out of alignment. A client I had the other day was sharing a business situation, and I said, “It’s just that business isn’t in alignment with you anymore.” And she said, “That’s right.” It’s just not in alignment, that’s all we need to say. We don’t need to blame other people, put other people down, or justify or make excuses. It’s just not in alignment with me now, full stop.
I want you to get used to that. It doesn’t need to be a song and dance about it. It’s just not in alignment, and be comfortable with saying that without adding on the story, the justification. Just get used to being comfortable with some things, some people, some places, some things. They’re just not in alignment anymore. No one’s done anything wrong; you changed, and that’s what the change creates. Be comfortable with that and be able to say, if someone asks, “We’re just not in alignment anymore, full stop.” No song and dance about it, no blaming, no putting someone else down to put ourselves up.
So, it’s a good phrase to get into your head. Also, for your own thinking, instead of ruminating and making up excuses about it, just say, “It’s just not in alignment, full stop,” and accept that. I hope that’s helpful today, and I hope these tips help for reframing your language and your ways of dealing with things. Instead of going into a big drama, song and dance about things, we just need to say, in this case, it’s not in alignment with me, full stop.
Be comfortable with saying that to ourselves. It doesn’t cause all the drama, stories, put-downs, or suffering. I hope that helps today. Thank you.
