Hello, everyone! It’s Roslyn, your relationship and codependency coach. Thank you for being a part of my community. It’s an absolute privilege to have you here. This is my favorite topic and my passion in life because of my own lived experience. Today’s topic is “Codependent Relationships,” so what does it mean to be codependent? Someone asked me that this week, and I thought it would be a great topic because I feel that people might not fully understand what codependent relationship meanings are, what’s underneath it. They might look at the word “codependent” and think, “Maybe I’m not,” but they don’t understand what’s beneath the surface. As we delve deeper and work on the underlying issues, we can overcome our codependency on people, places, and things outside of ourselves. It’s an internal journey, the best journey you’ll ever take.
So today, I’d like to go over some of the symptoms, which you can find on page 47 of my book, “Codependence: The Mother of All Addictions,” because it underlies all other addictions. Let’s discuss some of these symptoms so that you can gain a better understanding of what’s truly underneath codependency. When we can identify with something, we can raise awareness and start working on it.
Some symptoms include depression, anxiety, and panic attacks. These feelings of overwhelm often stem from the outside world, making it hard to cope on the inside. Another symptom is waking up with a sense of foreboding, feeling unable to face the day ahead. I’ve experienced this many times myself, where I simply wanted to hide from the world and sleep through the day because I couldn’t handle it. These are the underlying symptoms.
There’s also the fear of losing people in your life, as if you couldn’t survive without them. This is a significant aspect of codependency, as we often go to great lengths to keep people in our lives because we can’t bear the thought of losing them.
Moreover, there’s the fear of people not liking you and feeling the need to do more and be more for others’ approval. This leads to seeking external validation and anxiously trying to maintain relationships. We become so busy giving and doing for others that there’s nothing left for ourselves. I can relate to this personally, as I was once addicted to busyness and constantly rushing through life. I’ve since learned not to use those words to describe my life.
Another common behavior is saying “yes” to things you don’t want to do, even though your inner self knows you don’t want to do them. We do this to please others, avoid disapproval, and maintain relationships. It’s a cycle that keeps us from living in alignment with our values and feeling good about ourselves.
In my coaching, we gradually shift this model, learning to like ourselves and let go of people, places, and things that no longer serve us. This process is manageable and doesn’t have to happen all at once. Sometimes life brings us crises that force us to confront these issues head-on, but the program I work with focuses on rebuilding from the inside out.
Remember that you’ll always have yourself with you, so it’s essential to learn to like and take care of yourself. Reach out to me for a 20-minute chat if you’re wondering whether you might be codependent or need some guidance. I may be able to offer a few tips to help clarify things. Thank you for being here today, and I hope this discussion on codependent relationship meanings has been helpful.
