Roslyn: Hello everyone, it’s Roslyn, your recovery coach. Today’s topic is pretty simple, but it’s very significant. I want to share with you a statement about connecting with our feelings. Ask ourselves, “How am I feeling inside?” Not how I’m feeling in relation to all these distractions and outside events, but how am I truly feeling inside?
Get as honest as you can. Whether it’s overwhelm, grief, sadness, guilt, or shame, allow yourself to feel into those emotions. Here’s the key: find someone who understands and supports you through this process. Someone you trust, someone you can delve deep into your own feelings with. Remember, the opposite of addiction is connection. Despite all the things happening around us in the outside world, we often find ourselves disconnected from our inner selves. We need to return within and ask, “How am I feeling on the inside?”
You don’t even have to share these feelings with anyone unless you have good counsel or someone who understands and supports you, someone who has experience with or is on this journey. How am I feeling on the inside? Then, practice rigorous honesty and at least identify and connect with your feelings.
These feelings serve as a feedback mechanism for us to initiate internal changes, which ultimately reflect in our external world. The journey of recovery is truly an inside-out job. Initially, when we embark on this journey, we might be tempted to fix, control, and create external things to gain a sense of control. Remember, codependents either feel totally out of control or seek to control due to their inner turmoil.
Let me repeat: How am I feeling? Connect with yourself on the inside. Please remember this and jot it down somewhere. Check in with yourself every hour, asking, “How am I feeling on the inside?” You could even set a timer on your phone for this purpose. Then, practice rigorous honesty and surrender to your feelings as much as possible. The quickest way to move through uncomfortable feelings is to truly feel them, but remember, you don’t have to go through it alone. Surround yourself with support and scaffolding.
I hope this is helpful. Remember to visit my website, RoslynSaunders.com.au. There’s a wealth of resources there to help you identify things. Feel free to reach out to me for a 20-minute Discovery chat. This is a chance for us to gauge where you’re at and for you to see if I can assist you. I’ve been achieving really positive results with my clients lately, not saying this in an egotistical way, but because the changes they’re making—slow, sustainable steps—are breaking through layers of denial.
In my next live session, I’ll be discussing denial and the process of lifting its layers with support, gaining new awareness, and creating new behaviors as a result. Thank you very much, and until next time, goodbye!
